Eurovision 2011 – Live Blog
So this year we’re in Germany and the show is presented by one slightly creepy man and two women who apparently decided not to bother coordinating their dresses a little. Apparently last year’s winner is in the contest this year too and doesn’t want to sing her winning song, so the presenters are doing so instead. Ack. It’s a bit like the end of the show, three hours early. But here is the real Lena now – appparently this has been deliberately inflicted on us as preferable entertainment. Eurobastards.
Mr Rage has declared the show to be presented by a hooker and a fembot. Frankly I think they look like a little of both. And the red feather dress looks like it’s staging a frontal attack on that woman. By the end of the show, she’ll be lying on the floor dead with red feathers sticking out of her mouth and nose.
Finland – Aww a little boy and his guitar. Seriously, you thought ‘Peter is smart’ was a winning first line?? Oh blimey, a song about saving the planet. There’s a reason these aren’t popular deary. Peter sounds like a bit of a tool frankly.
Bosnia & Herzegovina – How the FRAK did this make it through any heat at all and is that Gavin Henson on the double bass? And according to the BBC tweeter person, this is one of the favourites!! Maybe he’s being sarcastic. Although I have to say, I DO give extra points for flame so maybe the other judges do too.
Denmark – Do Jedward know they have hair competition too? Maybe they just inspired the Denmark entry’s hairdresser. I quite like this actually, and he’s managing to sing while running. Given that our entries can’t sing while standing still, that’s impressive. And a kiss at the end, lovely.
Lithuania – Why are the subtitles being doubled up on this number? And those shoulder flourettes were a mistake. Ah, she sang a few lines in French, that’s why. And now she’s doing sign language. I tell you what though, it’s songs like this that make the red button sing-a-long subtitles TOTALLY worth it…
Hungary – Christ, that’s a big ring. I assume that’s the light-up jewellery Graham just mentioned. Her attempts to hit the notes are a bit uncomfortable and her light-up people are way worse that the giant ring. What about MY dreams Kati, huh? My dreams of a Eurovision where the UK entry can sing in tune?
Ireland – Oh my fucking Christ, what are they wearing? And Graham is just reminding us how it’s OUR fault that Jedward exist (or at least the fault of those who vote for the X-Factor). I am actually staring at the screen dumbstruck. And they sound like they’re singing in a second or possibly third language. However, it’s VERY Eurovision. Y’know, the ones you remember but don’t actually like. They’re still singing better than Blue will though I reckon.
Sweden – It’s Michael Jackson meets Zac Efron. Rock out Disney Channel! Aw, a song about how as soon as I’m popular you’re gonna want me sleazing all over you. Oh yes baby, when I’m popular. All the girls love a boy wearing one glove.
Estonia – You’re absolutely right Getter, everything IS a little bit weird now. I don’t like this. She’s not singing very well, the set is annoying, the costumes are annoying and the song makes NO sense. It’s like one of those creepy shows that adults do for children but with worse music.
Greece – This is vaguely threatening and doomy. Ah yes, rapping in half a tuxedo – very down with the kids. Although to be fair, I have no idea what Greek rappers wear, maybe they’re all that stylish. *Gasp!* Determined opening of the jacket to reveal… more white shirt. Awesome. They do get points for fire though.
Russia – It’s a Teen Angel! Bet they wish they could have had the real Jason Priestley… No fire but extra points for a back flip. Lose points for random text speak in the lyrics though. It was quite chirpy though.
France – It’s the rejected song from Les Mis. I like the visuals at the back but that’s about all I can say for it. I’m assuming France get automatic entry into the final? I also assume that they really don’t want to win the final. Dreary much?
Italy – I actually like this. It is quite good, not at all offensive and he’s hitting all the right notes. Not so much to say in that case.
Oh no, the awful Green Room bit. Liking the freaky pods though.
Switzerland – This sounds like something else but I can’t remember the name of it. I don’t like it though, cos she’s dancing like an idiot and not quite staying in tune. Oh she actually sounded better in that last bit but frankly, the whole thing was a bit meh.
UK – Having already heard this, it’s studio-processed to fuck which never translates to live performances, even assuming we’ve finally managed to find a band that can sing live. Oh my god, that’s our chosen set??? The giant faces of BLUE? And of course they’re singing appallingly. Why UK, WHY??? And what the fuck is Duncan wearing? Oh god now they’ve got videos of themselves dancing BEHIND THEMSELVES DANCING. Ohhhh the shame.
Moldova – Mr Rage informed me earlier that Moldova are supposed to look special. Oh my lord… what the fuck? Wow. My sister is loving the gnome hats apparently, although I am loving the unicycling fairy gnome and as a finale, a monacle. Well why not? Song made absolutely no impression at all though.
Germany – I actually quite like this. And I love what she’s wearing too. She’s not singing it particularly well but hey, who is? No fire though. And a little smile at the end to say ‘I’m fucking hot and you all know it.’
Romania – The lead singer is apparently from County Durham. HE can sing live and HE’S British so these people ARE out there. Please take note Eurovision-song-selecting-committee-vote-people. Can take or leave the song though. I bet I’d like it more if I wasn’t reading the subtitles…
Austria – She has an amazing voice but seriously, a song about love making the world a better place? Puke.
Azerbaijan – Oh god, a moody Pans People in white – there’d better be flame-throwers at the end Azerbaijan, that’s all I’m saying. At least he can sing, even if she can’t. Oooh rain of fire though! And the song has grown on me. Well done.
Slovenia – There is no one like I am… a sort of Cleopatra-type dress, if Cleopatra was on the pull in a dirty nightclub. Bet I’d like it more if it wasn’t live in a football stadium.
Iceland – Hmm, Graham is warning us that the story behind the song is sweet, ‘no matter what you think of it’. That generally means it’s shit. In actual fact, it’s not massively shit, but that’s about all I can say for it.
Spain – Well this is cheerfully meh. And… still meh. *shrug*
Ukraine – Some angel-wannabe singing while a vampire draws in sand and apparently sings too. Can we just watch the sand drawing please? I guarantee everyone in the stadium is watching that and not the befeathered one. The song is extremely forgettable but the sand-artist is really very good.
Serbia – Another song to make the subtitling worth it but actually, this is good! Sort of cute and I’m dancing a little. And the dancers are actually skipping! Good work Serbia.
Georgia – Last one. Graham warns us the best has not been saved for last and he is SO right. It actually feels like they’re rushing through it so we can get to the voting. And it’s over and I’ve forgotten it already.
The woman clearly won her battle with the red feathers and changed into half a black dress and a long petticoat. And now for the recaps. The recaps are highlighting how Top 40 the entries are now – far less in the way of folk music this year. And now for the Entertainment.
Um. If there is such a thing as a poor man’s Suggs, this is it. Utterly charmless. Oh god is he the ENTIRE show? Hurry up and vote people, make this be over!
Finally! Wow, that is a bad dress. Especially on a woman with not a single curve. It’s like an ironing board caught in a stray ruffle. Graham just compared the host and his guitar to listening to David Hasselhoff on top of the Berlin wall – laughing a lot.
Voting!
4 points straight off the bat from Russia? Are Blue big in Europe? Of course, if 50% of the votes come from the people who saw the dress rehearsal, maybe they sang better… 12 points from Bulgaria?? Bloody hell. And 10 points for Italy. ‘Take a picture, we’re a the top!’ yells Graham. More laughing.
I wonder if there’s been some Euro-wide conspiracy here. They reckon as we’re hosting the Olympics anyway, we’re the nation in the best position to afford it, who already have the stadiums ready.
I think the Ukrainian woman is drunk. Or possibly on crack. They gave us 3. Low points now but we’ve probably already exceeded all the points amassed in the last 4 years. 5 points from FYR Macedonia. Can’t they just be known as Macedonia now? It’s been ages. Oooh Slovakian vote-giver is hot, but followed up by Alex Jones from the One Show looking like a tramp. FFS. How many people in this country voted for Moldova?? That’s the British sense of humour for you.
The Denmark votes are being given from the sixties… They gave 10 points to Sweden? Mr When I Am Popular? Jedward are doing well. Gotta be honest, I would bloody LOVE it if Jedward won. For the comedy value obviously. The ironing board woman has quite a nice line in ‘move it along’ gestures. She doesn’t even speak, just waves her hands like an impatient teacher.
Green room time – “how rock n roll, he’s wearing a cardigan” says Graham about Sweden’s Mr Popular.
1 point from France? “One? We built a tunnel to your country…” Graham mutters.
We are now midway down the table, just below Jedward. 7 from Malta?? I thought they were contractually obliged to give us 12 or something. There’s something almost a bit more pathetic about being in the middle of the table, getting 3 votes all the time. Although not as humiliating for a formerly successful band I guess.
Jedward are doing a lot better than Blue. I’m enjoying that. I’m also enjoying Graham’s remarks about the vote-givers. That was one thing Terry didn’t do. Azerbaijan have won and apparently, they desperately wanted to. They are also, perhaps coincidentally, one of the few countries who can afford to host it. The UK has though, done ten times better than last year with our 100 points. Well done Blue. Perhaps a better set next time…
Now to watch Azerbaijan sing their moody number whilst being super-excited. Actually, he’s doing very well but she can barely breathe. Bless them.
I bet if I entered Ragebaby as the UK entry next year, singing her version of Beyonce’s ‘All The Single Ladies’, she would TOTALLY win. “Awwlasingalala! Awwlasingalala…” Anyway, til next time Europopfans… ciao.
Save Libraries
I can’t remember how old I was when I started going to the mobile library, but it used to park up in a layby behind my house. I’d go down after breakfast and sit on the kerb with my books in my lap, waiting for it to arrive. The aim was to choose my six books first thing and have one of them finished before the mobile library left at the end of the day, so that I could go back and get another. It was very important to me to have my full, unread allowance of books by Saturday evening, or else there was every likelihood I’d have run dry by Tuesday.
It’s fairly typical for people to describe themselves as ‘voracious readers’ but that’s what I was. I was greedy for books, gobbling them up so fast they barely touched the sides. I’d spend all weekend wandering around with my finger holding my place in my book, looking for the next quiet spot where I could sit and read. If my parents wanted us to go somewhere on a Saturday (remember how stuff didn’t used to be open on Sundays?) I’d sit in the back of the car, quietly resentful at all the reading time lost.
For any child growing up before the end of the Net Book Agreement (a fixed price arrangement which meant bookshops couldn’t offer huge discounts), libraries were the only means we had of feeding that appetite. At that point, children’s books cost roughly about £2.99 and at the rate I was getting through them, I’d have cost my parents hundreds of pounds a year if they’d had to buy all the books I wanted to read. These days, children’s books cost anywhere between £4.99 and £6.99 – imagine buying six of those a week to keep your child away from the television.
We moved house when I was 11 years old and the nearest town had a proper library with a much larger selection, and when I started working there at age 15, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. Six years later I got my first job in a bookshop and began spending most of my money on books, determined that my house would be chock-full of them, determined that my future children would have access to the best that publishing had to offer. And you know what? My house IS full of books and my daughter DOES have some of the most amazing children’s books available. But we still go to the library once a week, where I’m able to try things out with her. If she doesn’t like that book about fish, I can take it back and get one she will like without having wasted £5.99. And on more than one occasion, she’s loved a book so much that I’ve had to go out and buy it, a book I’d never have considered were it not for our ability to borrow it in the first place.
I won’t go into the romantic wonders of reading; everyone who reads a lot knows what a magical thing it is but I think what people forget as they get older and have less time for reading, is how books have already shaped you. When I was a child, my world was tiny. We didn’t live in a particularly multicultural area, we didn’t travel, we didn’t go to the cinema much or out for dinner or anything like that. I went to school, played with the kids on my street and read. It was books that taught me how big the world was, books that taught me about different cultures, books that taught me that every person and every place was different and books that taught me what a wonderful, exciting and incredible thing that was.
Even if I’d never picked up another book, those childhood years spent reading shaped me for the future. They broadened my mind, taught me empathy, understanding and acceptance but without those libraries, even the small, mobile one, my access to books and therefore all those different ideas and experiences, would have been limited. Which would have limited me.
Closing libraries effectively limits the ability of every person in this country to improve themselves, whether it be to increase their knowledge, their understanding or their tolerance. There are tough times ahead and we need the best and brightest sparks to help us through them; there isn’t much of a future for a nation of angry, intolerant dullards.
Tax Rage
I’m self-employed right? Right. And yesterday was the deadline for filing your tax return and paying the money right? Right. Just wanted to make sure you knew where we were going. This is basically a therapeutic moan about my complicated finances so feel free to stop reading… now.
I had been SOOOO organised I thought, and every month when I got paid, I put the tax money aside in a savings account. Worked last year. But no. Not this year. Ohhhhhh noooooo.
Being of a semi-tidy mind, I left the money in the savings account because I was waiting to pool it with a last payment I needed. It’s a bit complicated because I have a current account and a work account and a savings account, with the savings account attached to my current account. So I transfer money in and out of the savings account via the current account, then move it to the work account as necessary. So that I can easily keep track of all my work transactions for, y’know, tax purposes and shit. So I get paid into my work account, transfer the tax money to my current account and then to my savings accounts.
Look, I KNOW alright, it seems complicated now I’m writing it down but it seemed fine before. BEFORE YESTERDAY anyway.
Anyway, basically it’s a three-step transfer to get it to HMRC but this hasn’t previously been a problem because I always left plenty of time. I didn’t want to put the tax money in my current account, watching the amount go up and down with my general outgoings; I just wanted to know that the whole amount was there, safe, so I left it in the savings account. Then on Friday, when I had the last payment, I transferred the whole lot across to my current account, then transferred it again to my work account, ready to pay HMRC.
Six months ago, transfers from the current account with one bank to my work account at the other bank have been almost instant, give or take a few hours. So when the money didn’t appear on Friday, I didn’t fret. I thought ‘well it’s nearly the weekend, it’ll be there by Monday.’ But Monday came and there was no money and then Monday lunchtime came and then there was fretting.
I phoned the work bank who said “we’ve got faster payment set up with most other banks so it should be instant but I can’t see a transaction coming in at all.” And then there was panic.
Then I phoned the other bank who said “well since your old bank got taken over by this new bank, it now takes 4 working days to clear funds so it’ll be Thursday or Friday before you see it. Or you can pay £20 and I’ll recall the transaction and then rush it through.” There was more panicking so I said “I’ll pay the £20 to rush it through please.” And she said “actually no, I can’t do that because it’s already gone. Sorry love.” And then I freaked out. After I’d hung up obviously. Manners in all things.
I phoned the HMRC who said (and here I paraphrase to make up for being unable to share tone), “And? What do you expect us to do about it? That’ll be 3% interest a day on the outstanding balance until you pay.” Which would come to a LOT of money by Friday*. “Oh and by the way,” they said, “we haven’t received your tax return yet anyway.” Which is another £100 fine.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
Tried to phone the accountants but no answer, because it was now 5.30pm and had spent a million years on hold to various banks and Her Majesty. Fuck.
Luckily, the money I’d been waiting for was enough, when combined with an entire, massive overdraft facility to account for 65% of the bill and I borrowed the outstanding 35% from my sister’s life savings, although those funds didn’t clear until this morning (which is a whole different crazy bank story).
So that was Monday.
Today, I rang the accountant who said “don’t worry, we put your tax return through last thing yesterday so they received it on time. But we didn’t receive your signed consent until yesterday, hence the delay.”
“But I posted it a week ago!” I wailed. “First class!”
“Was it a large envelope?” she asked? “Because the post office sometimes keep the large ones for a few days.”
“WHYYYYYY???” (I’m not ashamed to say I said this with a few dry sobs thrown in for effect.)
“I have no idea.”
Anyway, the upshot of all this chaos is that my tax return is filed and my tax is paid and hopefully there will only be a little fine, if they really want to be mean about it, which they will but then, it y’know, it was kinda my fault. If I’d just transferred the money as soon as I’d signed the tax form, it would’ve been fine. No embarrassing borrowing from sisters, no insane panicking about massive fines… just because I wanted to be organised** and hadn’t read the small print on my ‘Your Bank Is Now Owned By This Bank’ document.
So yeah, that’s just a general rage at myself really. As you were.
* I’m not entirely sure this is right but that’s what he said and I was already freaking out.
**Yes alright, enough laughing thank you.
Going to be watching: Sky Atlantic. My other half is especially excited by the promised reruns of Thirtysomething (I’m too young to remember it), ER and for some reason, 24. Like we didn’t just spend the last billion years watching that.
Kiss the Ragekitty
After spending Christmas at my sister’s, we got back yesterday after the longest journey in the world (it’s not supposed to take seven hours to get back from Yorkshire) to find Ragekitty waiting for us. Even though the neighbours have been taking good care of him, he clearly missed us a LOT because while we went around the house unpacking things, he sat by the suitcases and didn’t move until they were emptied, as if determined to make sure that he got himself packed next time we scarpered.
So after Ragekitty stalked me for the evening, I went to bed and did not shut the hallway door as I usually do because I felt guilty about leaving him and figured if he wanted to snuggle up to my neck in the middle of night, he was allowed. So what follows is my own damn fault…
3am. I am so cosy and warm, happy to be in my own bed for the first time in 5 days and dreaming a rather nice dream where, rather bizarrely, I am also asleep, but this time on a big comfy sofa. Cat comes in meowing and wakes me up, then jumps up onto my chest which is how I first discover that he is cold and wet from being outside, but I rearrange the pillow so that he can settle himself between it and my shoulder, which is where he likes to sleep. At least, that is usually where he likes to sleep.
But no. At 3am this morning he went mental kneading me. Stomach, chest, shoulders… FACE. Yeah, that was fun, and all the while he was leaving little dirty footprints on the sheets; I was convinced that I would have a pawprint on my forehead when I woke up this morning. Then he kneaded me all over for a second time, purring all the while I might add which is very loud in the dead of night, before finally settling into the shoulder/pillow nook as usual, except for one important difference – he was KISSING ME.
Yup, that’s right. He stretched himself from my shoulder down across my neck and chest (which he sometimes does) but this time, after licking my face a few times, he pressed his mouth right up against mine. Right up. If I’d been able to reach my phone, I’d've taken a photo but I lay there for about 10 minutes with my lips firmly pressed together in case he decided to give me some tongue. Ack.
Eventually, he got down and slept on some of my clothes instead but he’s still clingy. An hour ago he sat on my lap and gazed at me for nearly 20 minutes and he hasn’t gone further than the garden all day. I think he may have abandonment issues. So now, as I’m about to go to bed, I am wondering whether I still feel guilty enough to risk further kissing incidents or whether I will shut the hallway door. Decisions decisions.
Strictly Live Final 2010
Wow an even worse opening than usual. Not entirely sure how this show has become even more tacky than it was but it just goes to show that things can always get worse. For the special occasion of the Grand Final, Tess’s hair stylist has chosen ‘messy ponytail’. Nice one.
Once again Alesha forgets that the cameras are sometimes on her when she’s not looking as she fails to hide her boredom during the Bruce and Tess bits and Bruce ruins a perfectly good joke by forgetting what he’s saying halfway through. Where’s Claudia Winkleman when you need her?
VT: Ok super-long VTs for everyone tonight which is thoroughly acksville. Yadda yadda yadda please vote for me awwww Matt crying…
Matt & Aliona – it’s very hard for a bloke to dance a samba without looking sleazy and Matt is not entirely successful. Aliona has clearly had her hair re-MyLittlePonified because it’s looking extremely acrylic tonight. A very good dance but the best bit was the backflips as they were the only part that didn’t make me feel a tiny bit uncomfortable. They get 38 but as Mr Rage points out, the judging is just for kicks tonight.
Aside, why do I always think of Burt Reynolds when seeing men in glitter looking sleazy?
VT: Kara is crying (and laughing at herself for crying) whenever she mentions Artem in her VT. It’s adorable and utterly ridiculous. I wonder how many votes that’ll get her.
Kara & Artem – Ahh the super-sexy rumba. She is SUCH a good dancer. This is a bit like the dance a couple would do in a film before getting busy on the dancefloor. And it’s so sweet the way Artem steps back to let Kara take all the applause at the end. What a gent. Alas though, an illegal lift so only 39 for Kara.
VT: Bore bore bore please vote for me. Pamela took James for a walk on her country estate? WHY? Oh lordy, more crying.
Pamela & James – The waltz from Movie Week. I like this because it’s very old-school and rather lovely, apart from the awful cheese at the beginning and the end. It’s really very good but to be honest, I’d rather see Kara’s waltz. Another 40 points. The costume lady should take note though, in the interview afterwards it looks as though Tess is standing with her mother.
More embarrassing Bruce filler and… SHOW DANCE!
Matt & Aliona – Ok, I appreciate that you’re making the most of his gymnastics ability but there’s not a lot of dancing so far and it’s a bit awkwardly put together. Yes, quite a lot more gymnastics than dancing actually. Didn’t love it Matt, I feel a bit disappointed but that’s a lovely smile. Ooh have you had your teeth specially whitened for the occasion? Len thought there were too many tricks, Alesha liked it cos it was entertainin’, Bruno thought the links were not slick enough and Craig didn’t think it flowed either. So basically, the choreography could’ve been better.
Kara & Artem – Oh my god what costumes are these? Like an awful combination of Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers and Queen. This is not very smooth either with lots of running about looking for the right spot. It looks more like an excuse to chuck Kara about like a ragdoll. Ah proper dancing, that’s more like it. But a totally ballsed-up ending. Embarrassing. Craig says there were loads of mistakes but gives credit because it was very difficult, Len says it was hectic, Alesha liked it and Bruno liked it apart from the ‘incidents’. Oh dear.
Pamela & James – Even though James reminds us that Pamela is older than Matt and Kara put together, I have high hopes for this, because it’s unlikely James will ask Pamela to leap, flip or cartwheel. For fuck’s sale, I’ve Had The Time of My Life?? Oh my god, are they actually doing some of the routine from Dirty Dancing??? They bloody are! Still, it’s certainly more enjoyable than the other two. The judges all like it and Bruno calls it a ‘tribute’ but James apologises to her for the routine, then says ‘nobody puts Granny in a corner’ which kind of spoils her heartfelt thanks to the voting public but makes us laugh.
And now for the voting…
We’re back. Outfit changes for everyone and oh good lord ‘the original cast of Strictly Come Dancing 2010′ reunited. Kill me now. Oh but phew! A recap in case we’ve all forgotten what happened ONE HOUR AGO. Can’t imagine why people think television makes you stupid.
Pamela and James are knocked out! That’s a surprise actually. While Matt and Kara are technically the best dancers, they’ve not been as consistently perfect as Pamela but there we go.
Matt & Aliona – Paso Doble. This is VERY good. Mr Rage says he looks like he concentrates too hard but I think it’s brilliant. Len wasn’t struck though, Alesha loved it, Bruno agrees with Len and Craig rather liked it, which seems to be the only thing anyone cares about. Huzzah!
Kara & Artem – A waltz. Is she wobbling? That’s not a good start. It’s very pretty, but she seems a bit unsteady on her feet which is odd and she’s sort of laughing too, as if she knows it’s all gone a bit wrong. Alesha loves it, Bruno loves it, Craig points out all the faults but says she’s a wonderful dancer and Len has opted to ignore the flaws and admire her performance instead. Ahh she’s got a poorly arm, so she can’t even clap. Maybe it’s the painkillers making her a bit wobbly.
Horrendous chat with the old contestants bit…
Matt & Aliona – The waltz. Ah yes, the beautiful dance to the murder ballad. It is lovely though and all the judges love it. Craig particularly liked his thumbs, although I’ve never known what that means.
Kara & Artem – American Smooth. This is incredible, although her face is showing a little pain. She just is the better dancer, so it’s a shame she’s been a bit off tonight. Beautiful though. Craig loves it, Len loves it but is cross that she wasn’t in hold enough and also pissed off that Craig didn’t mind, Alesha loves it and Bruno loves it. Craig gives a 10 and Len gives a 7! A 7??? You miserable old bastard.
And now for the even more horrendous old-contestant, random-members-of-the-public bit. I’m not going to watch this particular car crash but instead apologise for my last two posts being about Strictly. Normal service will be resumed shortly. Probably after a family Christmas, which is sure to inspire all kinds of rage, although as they all read this from time to time, I’ll have to introduce code names.
Paloma Faith singing for the group dance? Wasn’t expecting that. But this is not the worst celebritygroup-dance they’ve had I guess.
Ok. Announcement time. Aliona and Matt look resigned which is a shame but probably accurate. The romance rumours will have done a LOT for Kara’s chances. She is technically the better dancer but fractionally really. I’d be happy for either of them to win. And…
…it’s Kara and Artem. That is totally right but I feel a bit sorry for Matt and Aliona too. Kara says Matt made this happen through his ridiculous work commitments which I think is meant to be a compliment, as in, if he’d been able to rehearse more, he’d have won. Tears and a little snogging from Artem.
Right. Apologies for filling the internet with more Strictly rubbish. Am off now.
